A little bit of Cockney rhyming slang to keep you guessing

  Extracted from The Oddball English, here follows some Cockney rhyming slang phrases.  A few words have been explained, but not all.  You’ll have to try to figure out what’s going on.
Mexican wave – shave ‘Give me 20 minutes for a Mexican wave and a Brad Pitt and I’ll be ready.’
Michael Caine – pain, stain ‘You OK Dick?’  ‘No. I fell on me Khyber and now I’ve got a Michael Caine.’
Mickey Mouse – house ‘See you alligator at Dave’s Mickey.  Want a lift in my jam jar?’
Mickey Mouser – Scouser (Liverpool) ‘Paul McCartney is probably the world’s most famous living Mickey Mouser.’
Milky Way – gay ‘I told you he’d turn out Milky Way.’
Mince pies – eyes ‘Tessa’s got lovely mince pies and amazing pegs.’
Moby Dick – sick ‘Rita’s off Captain Kirk ‘cos she’s Moby Dick.’
Mork & Mindy – windy ‘Blimey it’s Mork & Mindy today.  I nearly lost my titfer.’ (hat)
Mother-in-law – saw ‘The carving knife and the saw are both Keira Knightley elephant’s trunk.’
Mum & Dad – mad ‘A macaroni for that?  You’re bleeding Mum & Dad.’
Mustard & cress – dress ‘Oh look, you’ve got a Michael Caine on your mustard.’
Nanny goat – coat, throat ‘Wear your nanny, ‘cos it’s bloody soldier bold.’ (cold)
Native New Yorker – porker (fat person) ‘You can spot Sue a mile off.  She’s a native New Yorker.’
Nelson Mandela – Stella (Artois) ‘A pint of Nelson and some Jagger’s lips, guv.’
Nicole Richie – bitchy ‘Jan can often be Nicole Richie.’
North & south – mouth ‘Bloody Jabber the Hutt your north & south and listen.’
Nuclear sub – pub ‘We’re going down the nuclear for a couple of Nelsons.’
Obama – charmer ‘Oh Sharon, he’s gorgeous!  What an Obama!’
Obi-Wan Kenobi – mobi (mobile phone) ‘S’cuse me, I’ve got a Holy Grail coming through on my Obi-Wan.’
Oil tanker – wanker ‘Go on!  Overtake that oil tanker!’
Oily rag – fag (cigarette) ‘I’ve given up oily rags for now.’
Oliver Twist – pissed ‘Too many pigs’ ears and he’s Oliver Twist again.’
Osama bin Laden – garden ‘Graham’s in the Osama having a quick Bo Peep.’
Otis Redding – wedding You coming to Kev and Wendy’s Otis at the left in the lurch?’
OXO cube – Tube (London Underground) ‘I got Oliver Twist, so I left the jam jar and took the OXO instead.’
Paris Hilton – Stilton (type of cheese with mould running through it). ‘C’nav two Paris Hilton ploughman’s and two Britney Spears.’
Pattie Hearst – first (degree result) ‘I don’t Adam & Eve it.  Geoff’s current bun got a Pattie Hearst!’
Pearly gate – great ‘We had a pearly gate time at the London fogs last night.  I had three chicken dinners.’
Pie & mash – crash ‘Terry’s pie & mashed his jellied eels.’
Pig’s ear – beer ‘This battle cruiser serves the best pigs’ ears in the East End.’
Pieces of eight – weight ‘She’s worth her pieces of eight in gold, she is.’
Peanut butter – nutter (mad person) ‘Joey’s not David Blaine, just a bit of a peanut butter.’
Plates of meat – feet ‘Mind if I put my plates of meat on the kangaroo pouch?’
Pork chop – cop ‘Hannibal Lecter handed him to the pork chops for fare evasion.’  ‘Seems hairy muff to me.’
Porky Pig – big ‘Which one is Donna?’  ‘The Porky Pig one scoffing the Ruby Murray.’
Pride & joy – boy ‘It’s a pride & joy!  8lb 6oz.’
Puff Daddy – golf caddie ‘Bob’s Puff Daddy to some lemon squeezers every Saturday.’
Queen Mum – bum (backside) ‘Put your Queen Mum down here next to me.’
Quentin Crisp – lisp ‘Tony’s pride & joy’s got a bit of a Quentin.’
Rabbit & pork – talk ‘Meet you at the Colonel Gadaffi for a rabbit.’

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